I had it all mapped out—two productive whirlwind trips, first to Palm Springs and then to Miami. The plan was to endure budget-friendly accommodations in the desert, layering up against the drastic temperature swings, and hustling around Tennis Paradise for a few days all in the name of content creation. There was also the small but exciting matter of my first-ever Racquet Magazine party, for which I had secured tickets and was super excited about.

After a brief return home for a quick wardrobe swap, I’d set off again—this time to Miami, where the sun would be kinder, my suitcase lighter, and the energy of one of my favorite tournaments waiting for me. A few days at the Fontainebleau pool, a little bit of work, a little bit of play—exactly what the doctor ordered. But life doesn’t always care about one’s plans.

Even though I’ve quietly accumulated nearly six weeks of PTO at work, taking time off so close to an important work conference wasn’t a risk I could afford, especially right now. My wife and I have recently purchased a new home—an exciting milestone, but one that requires our time, energy, and the kind of attention that our three very opinionated and needy cats tend to demand. 

And then there’s Noruz (Persian New Year), a family occasion that started as a happy hour with a few people, quickly escalated into a full blown dinner party with my in-laws. And although my wife had put the date on our shared calendar as she always does, the date and timing failed to sink into my brain, despite her efforts and due diligence.

On top of that, we’ve been in the process of selling my old condo—my first home, a place I bought, not knowing if I’d ever have any reason to leave. But forever rarely works the way we imagine it. You can’t have one foot in the past and one in the present and expect to move towards your future. And even as I struggle to find a comfortable configuration of my large office in our new place, I know that letting go of the condo is still the right thing to do—financially and more importantly, for our future together.

Oh, and my father passed away four weeks ago.

It was something I had expected to happen eventually, but as it turns out, you’re never really ready when “eventually” comes. I went through the motions—handling the cremation, taking care of immediate formalities—but the real work of grief still lingers, unfinished and unresolved. His estate needs to be settled. His belongings need to be sorted. His cell phone service still needs to be cancelled. In the coming weeks, I’ll have to return to Texas and close those remaining chapters, but for now, they hang over me like unfinished sentences of a blog, waiting to be written. 

All of this to say, until now, I haven’t been able to quite find the words.

The excitement and intention for the Sunshine Double was there initially, but with all that’s going on, it just didn’t feel right to shirk my priorities in the name of selfish, gratuitous fun. Instead of fueling my creativity with the game and the brand, life lately has left me in a bit of a functional paralysis. I’ve always admired writers and artists who can transform pain into something meaningful—who can take their struggles and weave them into their work. That hasn’t been my experience thus far. If anything, tennis—usually my escape—feels just out of reach physically, a reminder of something I love but can’t quite fully get into right now.

For the next few weeks, my focus will be on showing up for what needs to be done—clearing my plate, finding balance, and, hopefully, rediscovering my creative rhythm in the process. My coverage might be a little light for now, but the path remains the same. And even in this moment of pause, there are reminders that I’m on the right track—I’ve made some wonderful new connections lately, received unexpected support, and have heard rumblings that the journey is being seen. That, in itself, is inspiring, even if that inspiration isn’t flowing through my keyboard as easily as I’d like of late.

Wimbledon and the US Open are locked in for this year—two of the biggest stages in tennis, not a bad consolation prize and I plan to make the most of them. And while there was no Sunshine Double for me this year, the temperatures around the Bay Area tipped into the high 70s last weekend, a sign that maybe all the inspiration, and all the sunshine I really need is right around the corner.

So to all 300+ of you that have been riding with LOVEGAME, thank you for your support and your patience. I took an L on the Sunshine Double, but trust, I’ma bounce back.

-WD